Have you seen Carrie Fischer’s “Wishful Drinking” one-woman show? There’s a line in it where she says something like, “Maybe the reason I wrote so much about my life is that I was trying to figure out who I was…” That’s not a direct quote. It’s something like it. But, for reference and entertainment, if you want to listen to the audio version of her book of the same title, here’s one that the author reads on YouTube.
I’ve previously written about recovering from a job loss a year ago. While the current work situation is much improved, and the circle of friends and family is supportive, there is still a lingering anger.
Today the trigger was an item about a person for whom I’ve not been able to forgive. I’m stuck because I cannot find resolution in the person’s actions or lack of action. In my heart, I’m hoping that there was no malicious intent; but the lack of transparency keeps the anger flaring up.
People will do terrible things out of fear or shame. The people for whom I feel greatest respect are the ones willing to be accountable for their actions or decisions; most especially toward their colleagues.
When we seek a cure for a disease, we also seek it’s cause. With job loss, it’s hard to let go when you’ve given your heart to the position and the institution for so long. Anger is the disease and it is all mine. There is no person that is the direct cause of this emotion; it is mine to choose to process it.
Former FBI Director Comey, I feel you.
On the brighter side of the day, a superhero friend rescued my bicycle gears over his lunch break. I had a chance to see my son play his last middle school band concert with a director who has kept him accountable in his musical preparation, and in his character. My daughter and I shared a hearty laugh in the car. We ate nachos for dinner. And Pabu and Cora (our cats) celebrated their second birthday. I think of these moments to douse the flares.
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